Saturday, 1 December 2012

On the bus

Yesterday I walked to work. It takes about 20 minutes to defrost my car and only 25 to walk. The first activity makes me cold, the second warms me up. So, no-brainer, I walked.
However .
When it came to coming home I had acquired several bags and a huge bunch of flowers and there was no way I could carry them all home so I thought 'I will get the bus'.
The next time I think this I would like the heavens to open and a hand to come down and twat me on the head.
What was I thinking?
Firstly, I had to wait 45 minutes - and then 2 came at once - of course, that is a given.
Then I didnt have the right change and you would think this was a crime punishable by locking me up and throwing away the key.
I found a seat and sank gratefully into it cautiously watching the smelly man (why is there always a smelly man on the bus) heading towards me, and YES he did indeed sit right in front of me so that I could see the grease on his collar from his long lank greasy hair.
Whilst waiting in the queue we were all regaled by a very loud 'special' person about the gloves she had bought from Poundland, how she couldnt text with them on, what songs she sang at Karaoke and how many cards she needed to write and to whom she was going to send them. And all accompanied by a loud pig-like snort at the end of every sentence.
I thought she might be all snorted out - how wrong I was!
Then there was the young girl and her mother who knew everything and everyone and made sure we knew it too.
The driver was foreign and spent the entire journey shouting out the names of the passengers and asking intimate questios which unforunately they were happy to answer.
My Smelly-Man had spent all day in the bookies but was going to give himself a day off the next day - perhaps he was going to wash his hair!
It was the bus you dream about - the one that never arrives at its destination and you begin to wonder if you will ever see your loved ones again.
When it arrived at my stop I nearly cried with happiness.
Am I the only person that wants to get on the bus, sit quietly and then leave after the bus has stopped - without the driver 'playfully' opening and shutting the doors while you try to dismount?
I looked up the bus company and found its slogan - 'Breeze Bus - A better service for Bury St Edmunds'
I dont think so.......

1 comment:

GrumpyRN said...

Hmmmm...... this sounds depressingly familiar. If a driver on my route 'playfully' or otherwise, opened and closed the doors on passengers he would be dragged off and strung up I think. They don't do playful here and drivers are behind a perspex screen.