Gym-no-fank-u

On my way to work I often pass a certain gym for ladies-only where 'size is not an issue' and the entire workout is only 30 minutes long.

Now... I know I should go ... I know I NEED to go ... I know that it would tone up my flabby bits ... and help me lose weight ... and make me feel better ...

BUT - and its a big BUT - when I pass the gym at just before 9 in the morning there is a queue of eager ladies and all of them, without exception, are, to put it mildly, about twice my size. And they have been going there for ever (or so it seems) - so, the big BUT comes down to the BIG BUTTS - if they were getting smaller I might be encouraged to throw away the McBagel I am usually stuffing down my throat as they tut in my specific direction.

Sexist calendar quote

My 'inspirational' calendar at work said today:

Man lives in the here and now, not the perhaps

I totally agree - apart from the 'man' bit of course... sexist calendar....

A good night

Had a great evening yesterday. Went out with oldest son and his lovely girlfriend. Had a meal at The Manger - chicken breast on pate on a crouton with pan-fried potatoes and fresh veg - ummm, yummy. Then shared cheese and biscuits with MM - well, I had one biscuit, a crumble of stilton and a slice of tomato, he ate the rest (thank God, my eyes are always bigger than my stomach).

Stated the evening the way I intended to go on, with house-double vodka and coke - God, they are soooooo easy to drink. Went into town and met up with other mates and went on to sit outside at the Kings (where you can be as rowdy as you like, which is lucky, as one friend in particular was already trying to sober up at 10pm as she had overdone it already - and she was VERY loud).

From there we went on to the Grapes (the doorman asked us 'ladies of a certain age' for ID - he may be my new bestest friend) where the Colchester based group Timeout were belting the tunes out. And............. after about 7 house-doubles it suddenly became a good idea to give the bionic knee its first major test. Found myself leaping around and 'dancing'. Hmmm - poor MM had to listen to me whining on all night about my poor knee and how 'poorly' I felt.

Good night though....

Dont mess with me

My next-door-neighbours moved out a week ago. They have gone to London to make their fortune (as apparently the streets are still paved in gold) and have left behind overgrown gardens. At the back the hedge is so high that I have no light in my alley or the top end of my garden. At the front the leylandii is sprouting all over the path so that I have to walk across my garden (I am allergic to the stuff so cant risk brushing up against it). Before they went I asked them very politely to sort out the gardens and they were all drooling compliance - soooo sorry it has been neglected, had to prioritise, of course we will do it all before we go.... and then they left.

The house to up for let with a local estate agent who I contacted and was told that it was not their problem - it was up to the house-owner. I pointed out that he may have trouble letting it and his only reply was that he would 'speak to' the owners and ask them to return and sort it out - sigh, sigh, sigh.

So last night I began - I picked the best blooms and greenery and made a lovely arrangement for my dining room table. And this weekend I intend to attack with a hedge-trimmer and branch-lopper and the resulting mess will be piled high on the drive so that the next time the estate agent brings someone round and they swing into the drive they will receive a lovely surprise.

Dont mess with grumpyoldwoman - she rules!

You know its going to be a bad day when....

........ you open the curtains and a spider falls on your head........

........ you feel the first drop of rain as you arrive at work having left a full load of laundry drying on the line .............

........ your first phone call of the day is an automated voice asking if you need help with debt ................

........ you find ants in the sweet bowl ...................

........ someone has walked across the forecourt at work with chalk on their shoes .........

But at least my day started out better than a friend of mine who posted on Facecrook 'You know its going to be a bad day when you have to butter your toast with a spoon' .... ha ha ha ha